i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize