I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
How external is "for external use only"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize