i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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