I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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