He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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