Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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