I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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