cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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