i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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