The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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