i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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