i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I stole a fireplace last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize