you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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