thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize