When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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