Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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