If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
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I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
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Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize