he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize