6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize