every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize