guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize