you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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