i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize