I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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