What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize