He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize