Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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