Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
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she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
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You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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