I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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