so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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