I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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