there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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