I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize