Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize