Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
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I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
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I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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