Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
