Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize