we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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