you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
we're making bets on your personal life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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