I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
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You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
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I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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