I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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