none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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