I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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