we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize