i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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