did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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