Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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