his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize