stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize