K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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