The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
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Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
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woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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